We Are Off to NY

We are off to NY tomorrow at 5am and we are all looking forward to this trip even more after this whole hospital thing with our Jack. I just cannot wait to get away and let my mind, body and soul get some rest. Being so strong for that week for Jack has really taken quite a toll on me. I am emotional weak and feel like I am breaking down everytime something is not perfect. Poor Jack the other day had a breakdown getting his haircut, then at Target, then came home and spit out his medicine and that was about all I could take. I ended up balling my eyes out from just sheer exhaustion. Jack is just so tired and cranky from the whole experience and from lack of sleep for about a week in the hospital and my patience is just so low right now. I feel like if we just get away and think about spending time with our family, hopefully we all come back rested and back to normal. I think Jack seeing his cousins again will cheer him up and maybe take his mind off of the horror he experienced last week.
We wish everyone a wonderful holiday and an awesome New Year filled with HEALTH and HAPPINESS!!

Our Nightmare is Over!

Well our nightmare is over!! Jack was released from the hospital yesterday at 4pm due to his wonderful progress since the surgery. He was supposed to stay until Thursday because that is when the results from the culture come back but they felt that he was doing so well that he could leave and begin antibiotics orally instead of through IV. We have never enjoyed our home so much as we did last night. Just seeing Jack laying there on the couch was priceless. He is still quite cranky and tired but who cares, he is on his way back to being a healthy, energetic boy again. Hopefully in a few more days, he will get over his night terrors he has been having since this whole ordeal so we can all get some sleep again. It is so sad to hear him crying in his sleep asking for the pain to stop or just moaning, etc. I guess it is all just bad memories and soon they will be forgotten and in his past.

Thanks again everyone for your prayers, well wishes, gifts, dinners, calls, emails, etc. We are so thankful for all our friends and family and we will never forget what all of you have done for us.

WE LOVE YOU!!

HAPPY JACK-E

Sitting here now with my love in the hospital and he is beginning to act more like himself. He is smiling again, which we have not see since we got in here. Every dr. and nurse walks in and says, "Your smiling", which they are happy to see because it is an indication that he is feeling better. Jack's sense of humor is back as well. Due to all the antibiotics and fluids they are pumping him with, his gas is ridiculous and he has not taken a bowel movement in over a week. Well the reason I decided to share this with you is because last night we are all cuddled in the bed and he says, "Mommy, my fart smells awful". It was so precious...can you tell I have gone insane. He really has made a drastic recovery since the surgery. The dr. said she literally watched the color come back into his face the minute she began to drain the absess from his neck. He has not needed any pain meds since the ones given to him in the recovery room. He is also able to move his neck now more freely, but not perfect yet. This poor boy has been poked over and over because the stupid IV keeps collapsing his veins or slipping out. Last night I slept here with him because he refused to let me leave and it broke my hurt because throughout the nite, he would start crying in his sleep and was reliving some of the nightmare that has gone on in his life the last week. I think it will be quite awhile before he and we forget this whole ordeal. Something as simple as a normal cold caused this week stay in the hospital and horrible memories we can't ever forget.
The good thing is the nurses think he might be able to leave today even though the culture is not back until tomorrow because it seems he is clinically perfect. No fever, minimal pain in the neck and throat due to the incision and breathing tube, and happy again!! The Dr./surgeon should be in soon to tell us if this is a definate or not or if we need to wait one more day until we can leave. Being that he has been on IV drugs this whole time, they will try to switch him over to oral at some point to make sure he can tolerate it and then make the decision about leaving. I just cannot wait until Rob, I, Jack and Nolan are sitting together as a family again on our couch cuddled as close as possible without suffocating one another.

IT'S OVER!!

I am happy to say that the surgery is over for Jack. He went in around 1:30pm and was done by 2pm. Everything went great and he is on his way back to our Jackie that we know and love. He is all nice and drugged up now and in a deep sleep for the first time since last week. The dr. said that by tomorrow Jack should be feeling 95% better and can probably leave on Wednesday or Thursday. And yes, we will be going to NY on Monday believe it or not.

Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes because it made the world of a difference.

SURGERY AT NOON

I am devastasted to even have the write this but I promised to keep everyone updated. After the CT this morning, the scan showed that the swelling did decrease from the IV antibiotics but the absess grew in size, which is why they are doing the surgery this afternoon. They are planning on making an incision through the inside of the throat and draining the absess that way, but do to the size and spot that the absess is, they are not sure if they can get at it completely so if they cannot, they will need to make an incision on the outside of the neck and go in that way. My baby will have a scare on his neck and they will not even stitch it up, instead they will let it close from the inside out. I ask for everyone to pray for my angel. This is absolutely ridiculous that we are going through this when we should be home getting ready for the holidays and our trip to NY with our new baby and our Jackie Boy.

There is a light at the end of this dark tunnel....they say if all goes well with the surgery, we will be home in 24-48hrs. And we can still go on our trip back to NY.

Once the surgery is over, I will give you the latest update on our brave boy.

LOOKS LIKE IT IS LEANING TOWARDS SURGERY

Well here is an update...

Tomorrow morning they are planning on doing a CT scan to see how the absess is looking, as far as the size of it. If it looks like it shrunk drastically then they will keep him on the IV meds until it is nonexistent. If it does not look much different then they will operate tomorrow afternoon. Well, I was thinking he was doing a bit better but maybe I am wanting that so much that I am imagining he is getting better.

One of my favorite nurses here just came in and basically broke my heart and now I sit here crying next to Jack as his is slowly dosing off to his cartoons. I asked her what time the CT would be tomorrow so I can make sure both Rob and I are here for it and she said, "well if they still do it, then it will be real early". I was a bit confused so I questioned her because I thought they were definately going to do it but she said that it looks as if he is not really responded that great to the antibiotics and they might just skip the CT and operate instead. She feels that by now, he should be much more comfortable and capable of turning his neck and the swelling should be a lot less than what it still is. I am devastated to say the least. The thought of them wheeling him away on me and not being able to hold his hand might just be my breaking point. Where does the strength come from because I think I need to go get some more!

MY BRAVE BOY

As must of you all have heard by now, my Jackie Boy is in the hospital. On Thursday nite, we rushed him to Children's Hospital in Plano to only find out hours later that Jack has an absess on his C3 and C4 verterbrae behind his head on his spine. After blood work, x-ray, nothing was showing up until the CatScan showed the absess. This explains why he was in tremendous pain and was loosing the ability to move his neck in any way. Rob and I were initially devastated when we were told that it might be this, but after all the tests were coming back negative, we were just hoping that it was this absess because atleast it is curable. Me, the emotional person that I am, has really been doing quite well or atleast in front of Jack. My breakdown was when I was watching Jack go downhill so quickly from the ride to the ER, laying lifeless on the CT table, and just watching him moan for someone to help his pain. The hardest part for me everyday is saying goodnite to him and walking out that door to go home to my Nolan. Even though Rob is right there laying next to him and rubbing him and being the great dad that he is, I loose it everytime I walk out of that hospital and know my baby is still hurting in there and not home with me. I then go home and put a smile on my face for my little baby, who also needs me. I find the energy in me to play, and bathe the baby and then put him to bed and then it is my time to just breakdown. I just do not know how many more nights I can go home to my quiet home and see Jack's bed empty. All I know is the day will come and I cannot wait until Jack is screaming and running around the house making all of us laugh again. Talk about putting life in perspective! Please pray for us...yes, I have become quite religious after this because if it wasn't for God and our angels watching over us, I do not think I would ever be able to handle this and somehow or someone is giving me this strength that I need.

Makes You Appreciate Things in Life

After hearing way too many sad stories tonight, I had to take a step back and thank God for all the wonderful things I have in my life right now. I have two healthy, beautiful boys, an amazing husband, the greatest family back in NY, the best network of friends, and we are all healthy!! Unfortunately it takes a really sad story or a few to make you realize just how lucky you are sometimes. We all joke around and bitch and complain about things in our day-to-day lives, but I truly would not change a bit of it, just venting. Tonight I am praying and praying hard for a few people... this poor family that just lost their 4 year old son in a car accident last night, Erin and Geoff's trip pays off and Geoff gets this liver that he truly needs and deserves because of the great person that he is, and that our friends get pregnant and have the baby that they will make the happiest, most loved child in the world.

I hope my prayers are heard tonight!!

PICTURE TIME DURING THE LOVELY CHRISTMAS SEASON

Round #1: Last Saturday

Every year I cannot wait to send out my Christmas cards and as the 12 months pass until the next Christmas, I forget the torture that comes along with getting the pictures done involving children. I wake up on Saturday, all cheery because I have somehow hit the jackpot by getting the 12pm slot at Picture People. Just perfect because Nolan just will be getting up from a 3 hour nap and Jack still has about 1 1/2 hrs. until his naptime. Yippee...happy children=great pictures, right??? Rob and Jack head to Picture People first to check in since they were out getting Jack's haircut and then I could let Nolan get his full nap if we did not have to go early. From my past experiences at Picture People, which is quite a lot since I am obsessed with getting pictures for every damn holiday, I have learned that they never run on time and I mean NEVER!! So Nolan and I are running only about 15 minutes behind and as we are pulling into the parking lot, Rob calls and says "You better hurry up, we are up now". I walk through the door to only see that we are the family that will be on display in the front room of Picture People so every damn person who is staring through the window will distract my 3 year old. Then we meet our Picture Lady. If you have ever seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off, you will understand how great these pictures are bound to turn out when I have the person who is as exciting as the teacher in the movie that says, "Bueller, Bueller, anyone, Bueller". We begin our session and it sort of goes like this.... Rob and I are sitting on stools and Jack is supposed to be standing next to Rob and Nolan is on my lap. The lady in her monatone voice is saying over and over, say "Spaghetti" and Jack is looking at her like she is a complete jackass. About 5 minutes into the session, Jack is bored out of his mind because the lady sucks and he decides to have his own fun for all to see. She tells him to stand and he collapses on the floor because his legs are broken, when she says stay on the floor, he begins to jump around like his ass hit a flame. We move on from the family picture , which means an attire change because the picture lady said she got some great pics. I turn around to Rob and quietly say, " She is bullshitting herself because she sucks and Jack is acting like a horse's ass, there is no way she even got one good pic. Well onto the next pose, my 12 lb. baby propped up on Jack, not a problem for Jedi Jack, right??? Wrong...Jack begins falling over like a fool because his brother is causing him a terrible belly ache for the fraction of a second that Nolan was leaning on him. Now I am sweating like a damn pig because I have the lights beaming down on me and I am quietly threatening Jack and holding Nolan up at the same time because he is being thrown off Jack. The reason I am quietly threatening him is because 1,000 freaking people are staring at us in the store and thru the glass window so I am trying to act like that perfect mom, who believes that telling your child that he is not making the best choices will work. One more shot and now I turn into a psycho by grinding my teeth and squinting my eyes at Jack and saying, "You are not being a good listener and I am calling Santa". Well, he flips out and starts balling and says, "Mommy, you scared me with those eyes and your teeth". Guess what....picture time is over!! We wait around for about 45 minutes to view these picture and making ourselves believe that there were some good shots taken. Surprise, surprise...they sucked ass! The lady showing us the pictures asks us how things went and you can only imagine the mouthful I gave her. Is she oblivous and not looking at the pictures she is showing us. After viewing them I make the brave decision to do a re-shot tomorrow. Crazy...yes!! After I say that Rob looks like he is ready to either pass out or punch me. He questions if he heard me right about 10 times and I just smile.

Round #2:

A Success...a new photographer, a new day, and my much more cooperative, Jack!! Yippee!!

ENJOY OUR PICS!!