MY BRAVE BOY

As must of you all have heard by now, my Jackie Boy is in the hospital. On Thursday nite, we rushed him to Children's Hospital in Plano to only find out hours later that Jack has an absess on his C3 and C4 verterbrae behind his head on his spine. After blood work, x-ray, nothing was showing up until the CatScan showed the absess. This explains why he was in tremendous pain and was loosing the ability to move his neck in any way. Rob and I were initially devastated when we were told that it might be this, but after all the tests were coming back negative, we were just hoping that it was this absess because atleast it is curable. Me, the emotional person that I am, has really been doing quite well or atleast in front of Jack. My breakdown was when I was watching Jack go downhill so quickly from the ride to the ER, laying lifeless on the CT table, and just watching him moan for someone to help his pain. The hardest part for me everyday is saying goodnite to him and walking out that door to go home to my Nolan. Even though Rob is right there laying next to him and rubbing him and being the great dad that he is, I loose it everytime I walk out of that hospital and know my baby is still hurting in there and not home with me. I then go home and put a smile on my face for my little baby, who also needs me. I find the energy in me to play, and bathe the baby and then put him to bed and then it is my time to just breakdown. I just do not know how many more nights I can go home to my quiet home and see Jack's bed empty. All I know is the day will come and I cannot wait until Jack is screaming and running around the house making all of us laugh again. Talk about putting life in perspective! Please pray for us...yes, I have become quite religious after this because if it wasn't for God and our angels watching over us, I do not think I would ever be able to handle this and somehow or someone is giving me this strength that I need.